We’ve just finished up an amazing first leg of our Spring 2008 tour – sold out shows, energetic audiences, enthusiastic responses. I wish it would go on forever…and we do have some really wonderful performances ahead of us! But I also know this occupation is a roller coaster ride. Some days you are up; some days you are down. Even when we give it our best, sometimes we get an audience that just doesn’t respond the “normal” way. That’s when I find myself re-evaluating the show, examining my routines, and questioning my abilities.
There is a film/documentary called COMEDIAN. In it, Jerry Seinfeld details the effort and frustration behind putting together a successful act and career while living a life on the road. Seinfeld’s personal struggle is not intensely dramatic or humorous but rather very compelling to you the performer; “how can I validate myself all over again when I don’t need the money, what am I here for?” You see him question everything when he experiences a “bad show” – when the audience doesn’t respond the way he thinks they should. When this happens, like many performers, he questions his talent, his abilities, his success, etc.
With the demise of primetime television (since the writer’s strike), I’ve been watching some shows I’ve not seen before. Tonight, Cindy and I were watching PROJECT RUNWAY where hopeful fashion designers are contestants judged on various design challenges. In the final judging, Michael Kors (one of America’s most successful fashion designers) made an interesting comment to one of the designers (Ricky). After being praised by several of the judges for his work, this particular designer became very emotional. When asked what was wrong, he said – “This is such a roller coaster! You never know if you’re good or if you’re bad.” To which Michael Corrs replied, “That never goes away.”
So, as we move from a run of sold out performances, I know that just around the corner is going to be a “low point” in the tour. I don’t know WHICH show that will be, but I know it’s coming! And it’s important for me to remember that it is part of the fabric of this business; and that performance is subjective.